Monday, 28 May 2012

Review: Lamb of God - Contractor 

100% Pure Garbage

Now here is one to get the fists of wannabe gangsters and trying-to-hard tough guys pumping everywhere. Devoid of anything vaguely resembling value, this is a complete waste of time - I actually feel dumber after listening to it. From the irritating "look how tough I am" vocals to the inane lyrics and lifeless riffs, be sure a garbage can is in close proximity. Meant to appeal to the lowest common denominator, there is zero integrity to be found here. And seriously, does anyone actually expect a song that uses the word "guaran-fucking-teed" over five times to actually be good?

The stagnant ever-present palm-muted chugging and recycled metalcore riffs provides a musical backdrop that has neither any real energy or anything interesting. I call it a backdrop because the main attraction is obviously supposed to be the vocals. The vocals are harsh, but every word is easy to make out. It is blatantly obvious the vocalist is trying his absolute hardest to sound like a tough guy. Am I buying it? Not a chance. Not even the drums are doing anything remotely interesting here.

It gets worse. These are some of, if not the most, weak and shamelessly gimmicky lyrics I have ever heard. Although I somewhat agree with the political message, these are the worst. They are fIlled with vapid attempts at one-liners, stupid analogies and metaphors, as well as the mandatory testosterone driven attempts at appearing tough. Instead of rambling on about how god-awful these lyrics are, I'll let them speak for themselves:

"Yeah motherfucker, let's take a ride
We're rolling route Irish, someone has got to die
Trick or treat, it's IEDs
So roll the dice as we leave
Cause it's 8 miles of pure luck
With more bang for Sam's buck
Guaran-fucking-teed, someone will bleed
Guaran-fucking-teed, someone will bleed"

Although I feel most of their songs are filler, I'm not denying that Lamb of God do have some pretty good songs. This, however, is miles below filler. This is pure garbage, with no redeeming qualities. The guitar playing is rehashed chug-laden metalcore, the drummer is doing nothing special, and the vocalist really needs to shut up. This is probably just an attempt to cash in, and quite possibly an attempt to bring their political message to a larger audience by dumbing down their music for the average mallcore teenager. Whatever, there is no excuse for this trash. Next.


Warning for those considering clicking on the link: You can't unhear this, this is 3 minutes and 13 seconds of your life you will never get back.

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